I have to tell you, I’m difficult to love.
The fact that it is taking me quite some time to learn how to love myself means that it’s not going to be a walk in the park for you to love me.
I have mustered every ounce of courage to teach myself the essence of self-love and to finally give myself the chance to be loved by someone. And that is never easy. I know, I have gone far, and throughout my mission of attaining self-love, I have garnered strength along the way too. I am not as fragile as I used to be, however I want you to remember that I can still be soft on occasions.
You may give me compliments and I might find them difficult to believe, please, remind me of the good in me anyway.
You can find the beauty amidst my flaws and I’d still see imperfections, please, see the beauty in me anyway.
When you listen to my negative thoughts, you might find it difficult to handle, please, listen to them and be patient with me anyway.
Helping me be better is a process, and you might feel like it’s taking forever, please don’t give up on me and help me anyway.
I hope you understand that in this relationship, there will be downsides. But I promise you good days.
The worst of my fears is finally finding someone who could tame the storm that I am and then pushing them away because I do not know how to recognize compassion from deceit.
When I push you away, please stay. Remind me to talk—no not just merely talk, I want us to communicate. The difference between talking and communicating is that the latter involves empathy whilst the other, the lack thereof.
Communicate to me the things you find difficult to handle. Communicate to me your feelings regardless if they’re good or bad, I want to know. Communicate to me your thoughts, the way I communicate to you my thoughts. I’ll listen, I’ll understand, I’ll stay, because we’re in this together.
What we are certain of is the uncertainty of the future. I can’t assure you that tomorrow will be good when yesterday was bad.
I can’t assure you of the time it would take for me to finally learn how to fully rid myself of the self-loathing. Amidst the uncertainties of what the future holds us, this I can assure you of—I do not believe that you can’t give what you don’t have because I may find difficulty in loving myself but never have I found it difficult to love you.